Weeping Endured

As we all know, yesterday was Mother's Day. I awakened yesterday to a lot of text messages from friends and loved ones. I even got dressed in my cream suit and 6" pink heels (yes, I was cute!) and headed to church service. I thought everything was going just fine until the Pastor began talking about Mothers and their children right before he prayed for all of the mothers.

It seems like everything the Pastor said was so on point. He talked about children not being disrespectful, not talking back, honoring your mother and father so their days may be long, and even the sacrifices mothers make for their children. He also said, "Your mother loves you even when you're not lovable". I think I lost it there, and the tears began to flow...uncontrollably seemingly.

You see, the truth of the matter is, I didn't feel like I look. I didn't have on a mask, per se. I felt great on the outside but was a mess inside. No matter what happened on yesterday, I didn't feel like a mother, and it didn't feel like Mother's Day to me. 

I felt like I cried and cried and cried, and couldn't stop crying. A little later in the day, I saw that I was still crying. I was hurting not just for me, but for my sister (who's a mother) and my own mother. None of us appeared to be happy, and it was Mother's Day! Through my tears, my sister hugged me tight and said, "I don't care what anyone says, you are and have always been a great mother." Ohhh...how I sobbed more and more!

I ended up enjoying a fun dinner with my sister, my niece, nephew, and the Grizzlies/Clippers game! We laughed, cheered the Grizzlies on, and even had ice cream to wrap up the evening. I slept for 5 hours after that only to come home and go to sleep again after speaking with my spiritual mother.

My spiritual mother said something to me last night that I have often shared when ministering to others - "You've got to speak those things that be not as though they were. You've got to encourage yourself. You're going to get through this." It's amazing how He will bring things back to us :) 

I guess I needed the rest! I'm up this morning and glad that yesterday is over. At one point, I thought I wanted a Mother's Day 'do-over', but nahhhhh! I'm determined to honor my mother every day and not just one one day. I'm glad that my focus from how I feel to where I'm going. I'm convinced that my latter is going to be greater than my past. Weeping endured yesterday and on last night, but joy has come this morning. I will continue to encourage myself in the Lord, and encourage you to do the same! I know that my help truly comes from the Lord. I must continue to lift up my eyes to Him and trust Him to keep me. 

He loves us...He really does.

Be blessed,

~Tee